Looking Back

2013 has been a difficult year for me. It has been a year filled with heartbreak and endless questions. I thought being bullied in high school was difficult, but that nearly pales in comparison to how ill I have felt after being repeatedly put down by someone I loved. I always imagined that when two people love each other anything can be resolved, but this year showed me that sadly that isn’t the case. For my sanity’s sake I finally realized that taking care of myself had to come first. People say that time will eventually fix things, but this year has felt like a never ending waiting game.

Despite my emotional hardships I have managed to make learning lessons out of them. I have first and foremost learned that my own self worth cannot be defined by another person, and neither can my happiness. I’ve learned to keep working towards what I want even when obstacles that seem nearly impossible to tackle get in the way. And last I’ve learned to appreciate those around me who will always love and care for me, no matter what mistakes I might make.

To some it seems kind of strange that I am so close with my family, but I can’t help that I’m so fortunate to have people around me that are so caring and loving. My parents and even my grandparents are like best friends to me. I’ve also been lucky to grow closer to friends who have been there with me through my struggles this year. My friend Genevieve never ceased to be there for me, burritos and other snacks in hand ready to listen to my rambles. My best friend Cory always responded to my messages and texts even when he was 11 hours ahead living in Moscow. So despite my “loss” this year I have so many other people to be thankful for.

2014 is going to difficult I’m sure, but it’s also bound to be incredible. I’m spending four months living in Europe, the summer in New York City and I finish my last semester of college in the fall. I don’t have many resolutions for the new year other than to try and learn from whatever difficulties may come and continue to appreciate those around me.

One last thing, thank you again for all of your support this year on my blog. This is a hobby I get so much joy out of and without you it wouldn’t continue to function as it does.
So thank you.

What are you looking forward to or hoping to resolve in the new year?

Yours Truly,

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13 Responses to Looking Back

  1. You’re beautiful, and you seem very smart, and sweet. I’m sorry you have lost someone you loved, but you deserve the best and someone who will treat you like a princess. I hope you find that in 2014.

  2. Stacey says:

    Sorry to hear that 2013 has been not so great! I can relate to the family thing – I’m really close to mine which I know some people find weird, but I’d rather be this way than not spend any time with them. I hope 2014 is better for you xx

  3. Gramps says:

    You have always had a super Witt about you and you have always been a wonderful person. We all learn from the good and bad things that to us. Always use to be a better person in your career, family, friendships and new relationships. I love you for all that you can be. Never give up

  4. Anon says:

    The internet likes you way more than him and his “girlfriend”.

  5. Trav says:

    O, so you mean difficult as in not difficult.

    -from everyone not privileged & white

  6. bmb says:

    Oh, time. Just exactly the answer you don’t want to hear in these situations, yet, it’s the only real solution. 🙂

    Other solutions include: good wine, good chocolate, good bread, good cheese, good coffee… thank goodness you’re headed to Europe! Have so much fun and take advantage of every opportunity to travel, explore and experience while there. While I don’t miss the heartbreak and uncertainty of being 20, I wouldn’t mind going back and doing this part all over again! I look forward to following your adventures!

  7. Jane says:

    Hi Lauren, I’ve followed your blog for a good while now. For what it’s worth, it’s clear as day that it’s his loss and you’ll eventually move on and realise you are worth so much more. You’re quite clearly the real deal, not only stunning but fun, funny and completely loyal. He’s sadly not mature enough to realise that. Despite the troubles you’ve had this year, you’ve handled it all with great dignity and class. Carry on being awesome, it’s the best revenge.

  8. Anon says:

    Hey darling,

    You’re beautiful. I was put down greatly by the same person. Don’t worry, the world, and everyone else is on your side. You deserve and will get much better.


  9. V says:

    I began following your blog almost a year ago. As a Phoenician myself, its awesome to see this town from another persons perspective in the same age group.
    I really admire your drive, ambition, and work ethic. In this town, people to come by as yourself are very hard to come by. People either get sucked into this “Scottsdale Scene,” and lose their identities. I transferred to a school in Texas to get away from it all because I guess I thought I didn’t fit the mold. It is really refreshing to see somewhere who wants to make something out of their lives, doesn’t pretend that everything revolves about money, and regards the true value of family and close friendships.
    Congratulations on your internship this past year, and all of your accomplishments that you will have in 2014.
    Hold your head high, and keep dreaming.

  10. Matt says:

    You are a beautiful girl Lauren. Trust me when I say any guy would be lucky to have you.

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